What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
