Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
