He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
