She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
