Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
