I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
the liver wants what the liver wants
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
