She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
