Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
