Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
