I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
His hands were made for my vagina.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
