I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
vagina is talking i cant
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
