i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
