theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
