Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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