Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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