No stitches, just platelets and will power
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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