brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
