I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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