I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
