Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
