I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
