Fine. I'll sleep in my office
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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