You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
