I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
