margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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