nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
