Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
