I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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