Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
