well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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