he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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