omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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