why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
