Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
