her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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