we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
