I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
