The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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