Buhtt sex?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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