When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
