i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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