I seem to have left my pride at pride
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
