I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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