i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
