we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
