I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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