stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
