is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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