why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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