I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
