why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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