just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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