we're blogging at a bar
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
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