I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
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He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
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I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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