party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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