theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
