why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
