and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
