ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
