You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
