I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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