the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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