Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
