my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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