You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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