I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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