She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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