Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
