Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
