Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
