just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
