we have pet lesbian snakes
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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