get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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